Who did you meet and by the way I saw this in the paper

Most married couples live a reasonable normal life. They go to work, come home and sometimes have tea together before putting kids to bed. They talk about their day, sometimes griping about injustices at work, and perhaps watch TV to relax. Some do part time study in the evenings.

A certain couple is different. They talk on the phone. They rarely meet or see each other. The most exciting thing they talk about appears to be who they met and what they saw in the paper.

Shallow. I'm referring to Miss Helen Clark and Mr Helen Clark.

Her ideal night is going out to the opera. She suggests a play called Ruined, which is typical really. Just what she did to New Zealand. Apparently it is an absolutely incredible and gripping (gripping?) play about sexual and gender-based violence in the Congo. She didn't take her husband, of course. She took her young grip - Darren Hughes.

Corrupt Christian convicted criminal

In May 2008, the Dim-Post carried this

Prime Minister Helen Clark today announced an independent investigation into the independent investigation of former Labour Party MP Taito Phillip Field.

The new inquiry will investigate the Ingram inquiry and examine the inquiry’s examination of its investigation.

The terms of reference for the inquiry do not include inquiring into the narrow terms of reference for the previous inquiry.

The inquiry into the Ingram inquiry will be headed by Ingram inquiry head Noel Ingram.

The Ingram report in 2006 cleared Taito Philip Field of allegations of conflict of interest relating to his employment of Thai workers on the property in Samoa and he was also cleared of taking advantage of an indebted family whose house he bought, before selling it later for a large profit. Field had denied wrongdoing. He lied. He is now a convicted criminal as he has been found guilty of bribery and corruption.

He is the second Christian leader of a political party – assuming he is still leader of the Pacific Party - to have a public court case go against him. Helen Clark stood by him all the way. She probably knew he was corrupt.


Eddie from The Standard tries to put a helpful spin on things and it didn't really work. She wrote

Good on Clark for sacking him as a minister when the allegations first came out. Different standards back then I guess.

The problem is that Field wasn't sacked when the allegations came out. The allegations appeared on 12 September 2005. Helen Clark didn’t do anything about it until three days after the election – on 20 September. Even that wasn't a sacking. Eddieiot!

UpdatePerhaps Taito Phillip Field and Graham Capill could start a Christian political prisoners prayer group. Capill made news headlines today. Impeccable timing.

More Helen Clark meddling in sporting fixtures

It was not enough for Helen Clark to cast spells on our top sporting teams by turning up to important fixtures.

She had another strategy with regard to games she couldn’t attend: Get her ministry to hire a Private Investigator to record the games.

Even though we had a Rugby World Cup Minister - and Michael Cullen as an acting minister - it was Clark's Ministry of Culture and Heritage that decided to hire a PI to investigate, watch and record Rugby World Cup games to see if advertising was run during the programmes.

The first game investigated was the NZ France game.

We lost.

Clark goes - and we have a world cup

Well, what do you know. The last time our national team won a world cup in any rugby code was just before Helen Clark entered the Labour leadership. We had to wait until she left the leadership until we won our next one - the Rugby League World Cup. Congratulations to our team for winning the World Cup - it's a fine moment. Now, put the game on replay on free to air TV, please.

Just to recap, our national team has never won any World Cup in any rugby code - or come close in any other team sport - while Helen Clark was PM or leader of the Labour Party. We have only won one other - rugby - but Clark was a mere minister. We've played one other Rugby League Cup final - but lost it - Clark was in Labour leadership, then. Since Helen Clark was PM, we lost the netball world cup, suffered our worst performance in the Rugby World Cup, the Black Caps have been a failure at every world cup since Clark was PM, Team New Zealand lost the last race in the last Americas Cup after Helen Clark showed up.

The curse is lifted. Ding, dong, the witch is dead and we are the champions of the world. We have a much better chance of winning the Rugby World Cup in 2011 because now that Clark has gone we have the best rugby team in the world.

Working with Obama

Helen Clark congratulated Obama on his victory.

The New Zealand Government very much looks forward to working with the new Obama administration.

She's right. But in Clark's case, she'll be waiting a rather long time, because she won't be Prime Minister when Obama is sworn in early next year.

Obama's victory speech is here

The reason behind Helen Clark's image

Looks count for women running for office. Women had better appear attractive as well as competent if they want to be elected to political office, according to research published on Thursday. Everyone had to seem competent to get a vote. But while men needed to appear approachable to get an edge, women had to be good-looking, the researchers found. But the researchers relied on photographs.

Guess which of the two photographs Helen Clark would have chosen.


The report is here.

Ringing the Prime Ministers office

I rang the Prime Minister's office today to ask some information. The person I wanted to speak with was unavailable. Given that, I was then asked if I would like to speak to Labour's research unit...

Announcing off the cuff

Helen Clark has announced that Labour will remove restrictions on the unemployment benefit as part of a $50 million transitional assistance package for those who lose their jobs as a result of the faltering global economy. This comes after another multimillion dollar announcement of new spending from a government that is not announcing new spending.

Someone needs to tell the staff at the Ministers office. They know less than I do on this announcement.But Helen Clark said the package was fair, applied to everyone and was simple to administer.

How can a package be deemed fair when it is obvious no one has given any thought to it? It's not a package, some would say it is a policy.But it's not, as nothing has been formulated. Perhaps it is a plan? But nobody knows what that plan is. No planning has been done. So it can't be a plan. So it must be an announcement. But nobody in the Ministers office knew she was going to announce it.

So what is the announcement based on? Something Helen Clark dreamed up over lunch?
Its not applicable to everyone as Helen Clark said. Will the next development be that to be eligible, recipients will have to be in the workforce continually for five years, or in the same job for five years?

When the dirt doesn't stick

Labour has just lost the election. It has been been promising for a long time that they would produce evidence of dodgy dealings or behaviour of John Key - in his distant past. It was to be the only hope of winning the election. Labour Research Unit smear project manager Mike Williams, along with his research unit went on a tax-payer funded smear campaign trying to dig up the dirt against John Key.

Williams even went to Australia to see what he could find. Allegations centre around the so-called H-Fee - two payments totalling A$66.5 million ($75m) to Equiticorp funnelled via sham foreign exchange transactions in 1988. John Key was, apparently, the head of Elders Forex when massive illegal transactions were being conducted by that business group and Williams was to get a document that had Key's signature proving that Key signed off the dodginess. He found the document, alright, and the boys at The Standard were very excited. They even got someone in the Labour Research unit to do a guest post on the blog. This morning, when I asked the manager of the research unit about the unit's involvement with The Standard, she paused, refused to comment, did not deny the units involvement in the blog when repeatedly questioned and then slammed down the phone on me.

The final sentence in the post was:

Tomorrow: The date of the H-Fee and how the biggest white collar crime of the last century worked.

The Standard was also excited that today's Herald was to have a damaging story.

But how the crime worked and Key's role in it was not forthcoming. The post was pulled - here's the cache.

It was pulled as the dirt looked like dirt but wasn't dirt at all. How embarrassing. The document didn't have Keys signature . Mike Williams is so disappointed that he's not even answering his phone today. Hes too busy trying to find something for the Labour Research Unit to do. He has his tail between his legs. Its a dog of a smear. Labour campaign strategist Pete Hodgson didn't know much about the fraud.

If the Serious Fraud Office has been willingly misled, issues of perjury arise, but I'm a veterinarian, not a lawyer.

He's a good person to be a Labour strategist, then as Labour has gone to the dogs.

Labour breaches advertising standards

The Advertising Standards Authority has upheld a complaint against Labour's "John and John" campaign ads and has ruled they carry misleading information because it says that John Key wants to cut Kiwi Saver in half.

I recon that all Labour's ads contain misleading information - the image of Helen Clark looks nothing like her. Totally misleading. And this election is about trust.

But if you want a laugh, check out the brand new WhaleOil video - made tonight - of the two Helens.

Who would you turn gay for?

Gay Express has an election special. It interviews John Key and asks him who he'd turn gay for. His response:

Brad Pitt. Now that he’s a bit older, he’s a bit of a looker. I was going to say Tom Cruise, but someone of his age shouldn’t look that young.

They also interview Helen Clark. Like John Key, she was asked if she would vote for Civil Unions if it were presented again today, and if she would vote for a gay marriage bill.

But she was not asked who she'd turn gay for. I wonder why not? She wasn't even asked who she'd turn straight for.

Labour loser as bold plans fail to add up

Good article by Dene McKenzine in the ODT today, summing up the past few weeks.

A bold plan to bring forward infrastructure spending and create jobs at a time when unemployment was expected to rise was also revealed by Miss Clark.

The fact that National Party deputy leader Bill English issued statement after statement asking how Miss Clark would pay for the estimated $1.3 billion of unfunded promises escaped the wider group of voters.

It appeared as though Labour was heading on a road to possible victory rather than one of certain defeat as National continued to hover around 51% in the opinion polls compared to Labour lurking around 33%.

What a difference a week makes.

This column predicted some bold promises would be made on Sunday, thinking particularly of Labour as it continued its spending momentum. But that momentum stalled when Miss Clark at a Wellington rally ruled out making any more spending promises during the campaign. She went back to the issue of trust and leadership and how Mr Key, who made his estimated $50 million fortune on Wall Street, did not have the experience to lead New Zealand during times of global economic upheaval.

Across town, at Parliament, Mr Key used his merchant banking experience and finally found the edge he had been searching for on the economy.

Sore loser

Helen Clark is a sore loser over the TV debate. She is still smarting for losing a debate then stating Key had a telly tantrum. She said at one point " You might be used to shouting people down at home, but you're not shouting me down" - a comment interpreted by some as insinuating Key shouted at his family.

Of course, Clark has never had kids to shout down so obviously didn't have that well-rounded experience of being shouted down. But it is interesting to analyse - in a professional and fairly detached way, of course - the progression of her own analysis on the debate has progressed.

Helen Clark, immediately after the debate:
It was a good old-fashioned debate on the issues. I hope that means we’ve banished any idea that this is a bitter kind of election debate. I think people want to hear us being up front, straight on.

Helen Clark, yesterday afternoon:
Expectations were low, firstly because people hadn’t seen him in a debate before and secondly because he had a disastrous start to the campaign. So the fact he didn’t collapse with a stress attack on the set probably gave him marks.

Helen Clark: last night Last night Miss Clark said she did not think the campaign was bitter and today said she was just offering a professional analysis of how it went...... in a fairly detached way.

Professional? Analysis? Detached?

Sore loser more like it.

Diddums.

Helen Clark thinks her voice is not deep enough

Helen Clark had a tantrum today. She is accusing John Key of, um, having a tantrum.

She said it was lucky he didn't cry on the TV debate last night and accusing him of having a tantrum.

"The fact he didn't burst out crying on the set probably counted for him," she said during a Radio Live question and answer session this morning.

Clark said Key was "completely out of control trying to shout me down".At one point Miss Clark made a comment that Mr Key may shout at home but he wouldn't shout her down.

Today she said she was not accusing him of yelling at his family.

I'm really referring to the fact that by women's voices I have a lower register by men's voices he has a higher one."

I disagree. They have pretty much an equal advantage. For a woman, Clark's voice is pretty deep. It about as deep as Georgina Beyer's voice. And at times Beyer's voice is deeper than Key's, if Key gets a bit excited.

Now we know why Clark speaks slowly and deeply on TV. It's for the "register factor".

Helen Clark's dream v John Key's vision

Helen Clark is been dreaming too much. "I have a dream when I came to govt" she said,at least twice, on the TV3/YouTube debate tonight, "to give every student the same privileges I had". Nine years on, it might happen in 2012.

That's not a vision - that's a dream. It won't happen. We will not have the same privileges. John Key won the debate tonight because he has a vision and can back it up with recent and current facts as to why that vision is relevant and important.

Doesn't mean I`m going to vote for him, though.

Clark had no record player or motorbike as a student

Helen Clark thinks that not having a record player as a student is evidence of being poor. She had no record players a student. Too busy buying alcohol, I suspect. I wonder how many times she ran out of food or had no money to pay the rent.

But, she said she had no motorbike either. How sad. Students getting the full student allowance have no money for bus fares. Betcha Clark did.

Helen Clark on the nanny state

How do you respond to people who complain about "nanny state" and that they are"sick of Labour telling them how to run their lives"?

I can't relate to the criticism at all [because I don't have kids to smack and I don't have to pay for anything]. It just doesn't square to me with anything we have done [apart from the smacking legislation]. I stand for the maximum possible freedom of people [except when they want to have a say on political matters in election year, have a high pressure shower, or smack their kids, for example], but any democratic society will place some constraints on that, for example racist abuse [ and, like child abuse, this government has placed no legal restraints on that]. There is always a line that is drawn somewhere but I am someone personally who likes to be left free to live my life [while telling others as to how they should live their lives]. I think the people who scream 'nanny state' are usually the ones who want to be the most prescriptive about the way people live their lives [so I thought I`d play my part as Prime Minister to assist them] .

Helen Clark's vision for New Zealand

According to the Oxford dictionary, the definition of vision is "statesmanlike foresight". Here's John Key's vision for New Zealand

My vision is for a more prosperous New Zealand, a New Zealand that delivers opportunities for everyone. A country that is safer. A country that feels more confident about itself and punches above its weight.

Now compare it to Helen Clark's vision for New Zealand.

My vision for New Zealand is for our country to be a place that offers every person who chooses to live here - and they do have a choice - all the opportunity and security in the world and to be fair and inclusive. That's it is a nutshell. So we have to offer opportunity through education, we have to offer the opportunity to work, and we have to deal with all the underpinnings of that - the health system, housing, security in old age, support for children. But we have to ensure that people of very diverse cultures and faiths and beliefs all feel that they have got a stake in New Zealand because they are fairly treated.

I wonder what others think, with reference to the Electoral Finance Act, which is hardly fair and inclusive, with reference to her comments regarding the inappropriateness of Christians in Parliament when United Future got its 2002 swag of MPs, hardly meeting her vision of being inclusive, hardly fair treatment of people of faith and hardly fair and inclusive with retards to Electoral Finance laws.

This is not foresight, therefore its not a vision.

It's a dream.

Time to wake up. We need a Prime Minister that knows what a vision is. John Key does, so it is a start. We don't need a Prime Minster that thinks dreams are visions, and a lie is the truth if you say it a lot and believe it to be so.

What is the election about?

John Armstrong, in the Herald wrote this today

The election is no longer about tax. It is about which party can best convince the voters its policies will shorten the length and depth of that recession.

It is a pity he is not correct. The election should be about policy. But the electorate doesn't care about policy - if it did it would be asking for policy at public meetings, demanding policy via letters to newspaper editors, and at Marae gatherings.

How many of you know which party has policies that will shorten recessions?

This election is about which parties the voters would like to see form a government. You can bet most people who support NZ First have no clue as to what its policies are. And as for the people who support Christian Heritage, who does not exist, its obvious that ideology, rather than policies, is what people vote for.Some even vote for personalities. If Sarah Palin was the Prime Minister of this country, I've no doubt Labour would be much higher in the polls.

But I'm not sure that Helen Clark winking at TV cameras will lift Labour's poll rating. But if she was to resign it may.

PM regrets shutting Greens out of Government

Oh dear. Helen Clark has regretted that the Greens weren't in Government. They would have been if they had have polled higher.

Actually, so would National if it had have polled a bit higher.

Perhaps the PM should encourage people to vote Green, then, instead of aligning herself to NZ First, because, thanks to Helen Clark, a vote for the Green Party is a vote for the opposition. The problem for her is that the only way to increase the Green vote is for it to come off a declining Labour vote tainted by a suport for Winston Peters. She should have been regretting she passed the Foreshore and Seabed Act. Had she not passed it we may well not have had a Maori Party to spoil her coalition fun.