Kiwi Party candidate jubilant after Mt Albert by election "victory"

Simonne Dyer, Kiwi Party candidate for Mt Albert said she was a bit puffed - she meant chuffed - as she celebrated a joint with joint place getter Dakta Green of the Aotearoa Legalise Cannabis Party after the recent Mt Albert by-election provisional results.

She was stoked and jubilant as she edged out United Future candidate Judy Turner in a close contest by three votes. United Future got 82 votes with the ALCP and Kiwi Parties both getting 85 votes - or 0.425% of the vote. It was the first time in any election anywhere in New Zealand that a former MP got less than 0.42% of the vote.

Fifth place getter Ben Boyce from the Bill and Ben Party - the party that would have held the balance of power in the 2008 general election had there been no 5% MMP threshold - said he was a bit pissed off that he was not invited to take part in the backbenchers debate earlier in the week, as had he been there he may have got the extra 793 votes, thus overtaking the John Boscawen, from the ACT party.

Dyer was encouraged that more than 50% didn't even bother to vote. She said that the low voting turnout could have been because Saturdays are busy days and kids get a bit naughty and sometimes need a smack. And you are not allowed to smack kids in polling booths, dissuading non-Labour voters. So it was no wonder Labour won. At a joint press conference with Dakta Green, she suggested that the next by-election could be held by postal or internet vote to avoid this problem. This would increase turnouts in future elections, by ensuring people stayed at home to turn out provided they had an internet connection. Green agreed because his supporters had a similar problem: It is illegal to smoke a joint at a polling booth.

Green said that a petition would be drawn up to that effect to force a citizens initiated referendum. Dyer suggested the question: "should smacking a good joint and smoking an offensive kid be part of parental correction in criminal Aotearoa?"

Green roared with laughter. And gave Dyer another joint.