Abortion: who is braver, the mother or the aborter?
The latest abortion figures were released today . More are having abortions, and a quarter of them are teens. Abortion is by far the most common medical surgical procedure our young women receive.
There are two things just about everybody agrees on. There's too many abortions and abortion laws are an ass.
Where people disagree is whether, in a case where a baby is unwanted, it is more tragic to have an abortion or to give birth. Those who support a woman's right to have an abortion think both are tragic, those who are pro life think abortion is tragic and an unplanned pregnancy is unfortunate.
Here's a person who had an abortion on mental health grounds, and people say she is brave for speaking out on it. I agree. Yet she says she is pro choice. as well as wanting to see abortion on demand.
The Herald has a piece on a woman who had an illegal abortion this month that was certified as legal. I know this because of her reason for abortion was not on mental health grounds. She had no mental health issues, in fact she was able to write quite a coherent piece for the newspaper a short time after. Her reason for having an abortion:
I don’t believe we could provide for a baby financially or emotionally, let alone give it the stable, loving and positive environment every child deserves to have.Mental health had nothing to do with it. In reality, both these women had abortions because, in their view, the "tragedy" of having an abortion was not as tragic as the tragedy of having a baby. In other words, living with the consequences of abortion is preferable to them than living with the consequences of bearing a child. It doesn't help when many abortion counsellors are telling women that a routine pregnancy carries more risk than an abortion does, which, of course, is utter crap.
I feel selfish, guilty and sad, but I cannot cope with the prospect of a baby in my life when I’m so young, and so totally unprepared.
While not one to minimise the tragedy of abortion, why is it "brave" to talk about an abortion, but not so 'brave" to talk about an unwanted baby you gave birth to instead of aborting? Why are those who have had an abortion happy to criticise those who haven't had an abortion for commenting on abortion, when these same childless people are quite happy to comment on having a child?.
Just like an atheist needs more proof that God doesn't exist than does a person who believes God does exist, a pregnant woman who doesn't want a baby is braver if she has the baby than if she has an abortion and publically discusses it later on.
Labels: Abortion
8 Comments:
It's interesting reading the Herald piece - would you want an under-16 to go through this without parent's knowledge, let alone consent.
Hm, must digest further.
"While not one to minimise the tragedy of abortion, why is it "brave" to talk about an abortion, but not so 'brave" to talk about an unwanted baby you gave birth to instead of aborting?"
Could it be that it's because when someone speaks out about having an unwanted child, the worst they get is a scolding for being irresponsible in the first place, whereas as soon as someone mentions abortion a big group of conservative fuckwads start screaming murder?
"Just like an atheist needs more proof that God doesn't exist than does a person who believes God does exist,"
Huh? You seem to have this backwards.
I see that in all this we didn't ask the baby what eh/she prefered before going ahead with the clearly mentally ill mother's wishes.
Are we honestly considering the human rights of the child here?
Which baby in it's own right would go for a termination?
Let's get real surely every fetus has a right to be born safetly?
Ohh I forgot it is just an it isn't it.
Just a bit of the mothers body for her to do what she wants with it.
Even if she is having a bad hair day.
Quite anon - I support abortion so long as allowance is made for the health of the baby!
Could it be that it's because when someone speaks out about having an unwanted child, the worst they get is a scolding for being irresponsible in the first place, whereas as soon as someone mentions abortion a big group of conservative fuckwads start screaming murder?
No. Sounds like if you had a choice you`d want the scolding, rather then the fuckwads. So whats your point?
Huh? You seem to have this backwards.
No I dont, you do. Think about it.
"While not one to minimise the tragedy of abortion, why is it "brave" to talk about an abortion, but not so 'brave" to talk about an unwanted baby you gave birth to instead of aborting?"
I've done both... and been called brave for speaking out about both. So short of conducting some pretty in depth research, I'd say that from my experience I have found this question a tad irrelevant. Both are considered equally brave options.
Just remember that everyone is ultimately on the same side - planned pregnancies are the ultimate goal. Just the means of dealing with the outcome are different.
Actually Dave I didn't have my abortion on mental health grounds as I was outside New Zealand at the time so didn't have to go through that charade. I did have to go through the charade of having a *boyfriend* sign off on it which was utter crap.
Since you seem to be second-guessing my decisions:
1. I was on medication for my skin at the time which amongst its many side-effects causes major birth defects. At best I could hope for a miscarriage due to this, but I didn't want to risk that happening nor giving birth to a severely deformed child. Caring for a child is tough, caring for a high-needs one is far worse when you are single and alone.
And yes Dave, I was single and alone.
I was living overseas at the time and had no solid support network around me to support me. I was also living in a country where unwed sex is a huge no-no thus I would have lost my job and therefore my visa.
Thus adoption was also not an option given that there are still thousands of kids languishing in orphanages in that country that I couldn't bring myself to add to it.
And why is it brave to talk about abortion? Because nobody does for fear of the backlash from people who wish to label us murderers and whores. While single motherdom is barely tolerated, and it is barely tolerated, abortion is something that it is easy for others to preech about from behind a computer screen and yes I did get some rather nasty responses because of that post which I have deleted.
When faced with an unwanted pregnancy, there are no good options. The idea of a long pregnancy and the cost of medical bills sucks. The idea of abortion sucks. However, when you have worked your whole life towards a specific goal, sometimes abortion is the better option. It's not about being "brave." It's about making a choice you can live with. I could never give my baby away. If I had it, I would keep it. Three years from now, I will be in the perfect position to have a baby. Right now, it would completely derail my life. Abortion is a simple medical procedure. If you get it done at six weeks, it's no big deal physically. Mentally is another matter.
I had an abortion six months ago. I'm 27 years old. I am a responsible college graduate who is working on solidifying her career. I made it 12 years of sexual activity without getting pregnant... but birth control can't work perfectly forever, I guess. My body had begun reacting badly to the hormones a year ago. Three years from now would be a good time to have a baby. So, I had the abortion, then had an IUD implanted so it can't happen again until I want it to. If I DO get pregnant again with the IUD, then I will not have another abortion. I made a mistake. I do not regret the decision to abort. It was the right decision for me and I am thankful that I had that choice.
It would be wrong to take the choice away from women.
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