"The Doctor" - The official Budget 2008 song

On a warm autumn arvo with a Budget bound for nowhere,
We tuned into the Doctor; we were almost put to sleep.
So we took turns a starin', out the window at the darkness,
til boredom overtook us, when he began to speak.

He said, folks, I’ve made a living out of keeping people’s taxes,
And knowin' what their costs were by the cold stare in their eyes.
So if you don't mind my sayin', I can see you’re out of patience.
For the sake of the party vote, I’ll give you some ad-ons.
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So I handed him my ear and he drooled on most of Thursday.
Then he kept on talkin' but no more came to light.
And the night news got deathly boring, and his words were all depression.
Said, if you’re gonna stick with us, folks, your money’s gonna stay awfully tight.

You got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.
You ever count your money when you’re sittin' at the table.
There’ll be pretty much the same amount, with this Budget done.

Now every Member knows that the secret to survivin'
Is knowin' what to throw at you and knowing how to speak.
Cause every Budget’s a winner and every Budget’s a loser,
And the best voters can hope for is to not fall asleep.

So when he’d finished speakin', he turned back towards his Leader,
Crushed out her long career that was landing in a heap.
And somewhere in the darkness the Doctor’s Budget may've broken even.
But in his final words we saw that Labour wouldn’t keep.

You got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.
You ever count your money when you’re sittin' at the table.
There’ll be pretty much the same amount, with this Budget done.
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