Thursday, June 05, 2008

Obese people smack their kids more

Family First NZ is questioning why a government sponsored survey of obesity rates and related issues of exercise, TV watching, nutrition, fast food and drinking patterns has included a question on smacking and its effectiveness.

The survey noted that Pacific Island children were more likely to be smacked, but parents stated smacking was the least effective option. "I would have thought it was patently obvious that the more obese a child was, the less effective the smack would be", Mr McCoskrie said. "The fatter you are, the less it would hurt".

Children's Commissioner Dr. Cindy Kiro welcomed the surveys findings. "Once again yet another survey shows that smacking is ineffective, and that proves that anti smacking legislation works," she said. " Yee-har".

Overseas research shows that mildly obese kids are 25% more likely than skinny runts to have a smack hit its target. With moderately obese kids the likelihood increase to 65% as these poor kids are have the additional problem in that they are so obese they cant run away from parents brandishing the wooden spoon.

Green MP Sue Bradford, whose private member's bill removed from the Crimes Act the statutory defence of reasonable force to correct a child,said even obesity has its positive spinoffs in terms of harm minimisation. "However, its a bit of a concern that obese children are getting smacked more purely because they are less able to run away from smacking parents, with the additional impediment that they have more body mass to be struck with."

"No wonder obese kids are getting bullied more at school."

Dr. Kiro praised skinny kids who are able to run away from school bullies, and parents who intend to smack. "This further proves smacking is ineffective if parents can't catch their kids to administer violence. Wouldn't it be better just to shout at them instead and give them a hug later on?"

"The reason the smacking question was in that survey is because we need to do more research on why obese children are getting smacked more."

Mr McCoskrie said reason was obvious. "They`re obese! They need to stay trim and eat less pies. Perhaps they should go without breakfast twice a week." He said the heavyweight Children`s Commissioner should be downsized because she was clearly not doing her job in promoting the welfare and best interests of children. "Although most parents are doing a marvellous and effective job in smacking their kids, others should be taught how to smack forcefully and correctly, instead of being taught how to operate DVDs. What we need is a public education campaign to teach parents how to smack their children, and this obviously needs a fitness component for obese parents of skinny kids".


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dave - this is a joke right? None of these quotes can be taken seriously. Family first are way off the mark to suggest parents need to be trained to smack more forcefully. Obese PI children won't feel less pain - many times they get smacked in the head. Surely there is a correlation here between obesity, violence, poverty, and perhaps also low success academically? Not wanting to make liberal 'excuses' but isn't addressing the real issue about tackling the root of the problem? Training parents to smack their kids harder is not going to do that. - Andrew P

June 4, 2008 at 4:37 PM  
Blogger Swimming said...

Yes, its a joke:-0. Satire... Perhaps I should have tagged it as such.

June 4, 2008 at 6:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The scary thing here is that someone has to ask if it's a joke.
It's just the sort of rubbish Family Fist and Cindy Kiro would spout for real!


June 4, 2008 at 9:28 PM  
Blogger Steve Withers said...

Fewer pies....not "less pies".


June 4, 2008 at 11:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I honestly thought this was a serious article only because it was in the news section and I didn't realise that "joke" news articles were part of Scoop's agenda...

June 5, 2008 at 11:14 AM  
Blogger Swimming said...

Fewer pies....not "less pies".
Exactly. But when you quote someone who says "less pies" you don`t write "fewer pies".

June 5, 2008 at 12:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

June 5, 2008 at 5:50 PM  

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